What They See Versus Reality
With humanity, it’s purely a love-hate relationship however, balance not only exists… it’s proven to keep us all sane and functioning at our best. With a portion of people, able to figure out how to manage life extremely well, and others not so much. Both should be expected because people come in all shapes, forms, and struggles. Nevertheless, The unfortunate part of it all is that Some of us manage the balance in life so effectively that they take to judgment faster than they do understanding. Usually with one of two opinions:
"Oh, they have nothing to do/so much free time"
"They are capable of handling it because I’m capable of handling it plus, it doesn't look like they have a lot on their plate."
Most often the people who can handle life better have embraced saying "no." They are in fact balanced. Problems arise because of how people perceive them and how they may even perceive others. This is the aspect of the problem that is rarely discussed.
Especially in countries like the United States, if someone is seen fidgeting with their fingers and not completing a task at hand, they must be lazy. This brings people into feeling like they have to take on more and more.
Created By GBRLIFE
They do this. in order to show they are indeed trying their best, but inevitably brings them back to failure because they do not have a truly balanced life without that ability to say “No”. No, they are not lazy; no, they don’t have to keep going, no, they don’t have to fall into people-pleasing behaviors in order to be loved.
Where do you most often observe this? Moms and workers. BUT! There are others who also go through this.
Moms multitask like crazy, and when someone finally pauses to look at them after they've accomplished everything you can think of, the mom has either sat down or appears to have time on her hands. Mom can now take on more because she isn't overburdened. Or the worker who just completed one or more enormous projects and finally sat down to dine without any papers or a computer in front of them. You might as well offer them that new task since they must have free time.
There is a proviso to this, which I mentioned above. The strength of NO. And that's where the verdicts are made. Someone decides to decline the additional duty or responsibility when it is offered because they are aware of their limitations. And instead of acknowledging that they are unable to adapt to the new, people punish them by labeling them as being sluggish, unpleasant, or careless. Aggressors forget they don’t owe you anything, they are really just trying to keep their lives in balance.
Simply said, perceptions are essentially presumptions we have about a situation. And how simple is it to infer that someone's behaviors are what they say they are based on a mental image you concocted? Otherwise, most individuals wouldn't consistently do it.
People in these circumstances are actually overburdened and in need of a vacation. And what they see is someone smiling despite their complicated life, or for those who are more balanced without judgment, they will see another balanced person and value their honesty.
Like a manager who accepts a no from a worker since they are aware that adding more tasks will lead to errors. Or the mother who declares she is going to go shopping by herself and her family not only approves but cheers her on.
Those moments occur when you are surrounded by the appropriate people and can be a wonderful indicator of the people in your life. How much support do you truly have?
Before declaring someone is doing nothing, observe the world around you. We must seriously practice compassion more frequently and give one another more wiggle room. Or, eventually, those same overburdened folks will lose it. I hope you get to stay when they expel you from their lives. Unless you're the type to become overwhelmed, in which case I say... Cut those individuals out, be firm, and have the ability to say NO, regardless of how others see you.
Rarely is reality what individuals can perceive or know.
Never judge others.
How do you feel about saying No?
