When Mom's Do It All
I have written many posts about motherhood and the struggles of it, and there has even been a dad on here telling a few of his own stories. Which I loved getting a dad guest poster! But have I really spoken about a big topic of how mothers feel as a working from home mom? Why does that matter you ask? Because in the chaos of the world, more mothers are back home and taking care of the kids. That doesn’t mean mom has no job, it means no one care if she has a job, because her duty is to take care of the kids…or is it?
Adam and Eve are only the first couple to be talked about in the bible and at some point, Eve had children or else we wouldn’t all be here based on the way it goes. Childbirth in pain was the punishment and a hard day of work for a man. But let’s be honest that has all changed MAJORLY since the beginning of mankind. And women now work, and carry those kids, and keep house and home functioning no matter what.
Dad’s work and do more then ever when it comes to raising those kids and frankly, we act like they deserve a metal for it.
And some men do, they really step up to the plate and get that job done, but when that happens it’s because he is doing it alone or he is a true partner in his home. On the other hand, we have dads who change a diaper, make dinner and then sit on the couch after a long hard day at work. But mom who also worked hard isn’t getting any metals. She reminded to get all of those other things done dad didn’t do and never remembers to do. She took care of the kids and wait mom also has a Career! But that didn’t’ matter when it came to layoffs.
Photo by Mahmud Ahsan on Unsplash
Her contributions at home didn’t matter because she isn’t considered the breadwinner. And when mom lost her job, that paid 75% of the bills, she was expected to not only figure out how to care for the kids at home but also find a new job and get as much income back as possible. Maybe mom didn’t lose her job and she is working as hard as ever but when it comes to those kiddos, if dad has an important meeting, it’s more important then mom’s meetings so the kids are with her. Mom has to be flexible enough to make it work no matter what life throws at them. No matter how tired they are and no matter what those kids are up to.
Photo by Katie Emslie on Unsplash
Moms are seen on zoom calls, feeding their babies, folding laundry, with lunch or dinner cooking on the stove in commercials while dad has the kids in the background going crazy. Telling us mom's can handle all that so much better then dad so just give the kids to mom because dad isn't' capable. None of which is true.
And this is what we are used to, expecting Moms to do it all at the same time with no credit except for one day a year that many men think isn’t fair because people make a bigger deal over it. And dads are complimented and told how much of a great dad he is because he does basic things a mother is expected to do. He is treated like he is AMAZING! How did Mom get a Guy like that!
Did we just set the bar to low as a whole in society?
Feel like I’m dad bashing? I’m not, it’s not as big of an issue as it had been in say the 50’s but it’s still there and in times like this with chaos in the world, it feels like we have started to return to it just a bit. But I personally have faith in the youth to change that right back around. I see how much they want and need equality in each other for all roles. And how much more these younger men and children aren’t afraid of doing things that were commonly seen to be a woman’s role. Frankly, I don’t know if they realize it was once considered a women’s’ role. And that is a wonderful sight.
Men happy to be doing anything at all as a man never worrying if it's masculine or really his job to do and mom's feeling like she has a real partner in life.
What is unfortunate is that the world has gone back to it at all, it feels sad on a daily when I see humans go backwards in so many aspects, especially in the family. Because Mom AND Dad made that baby and they are BOTH just as needed for that child. So, they BOTH need to take on ALL of the SAME responsibilities. In a house and with those kids needs.
