Worst Parenting Advice
I haven't been a parent for decades and While I don't think everyone knows everything after years of being a parent. I do think talking to other parents can help us learn tips and tricks that can make life easier. Including learning from others’ mistakes or successes. It means less time having to think on a day-to-day basis with the extra help of just having that knowledge...but that doesn't mean all of the things we are told by "wise" parents are actually good advice.
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For example, knowing that infant and kids Tylenols is exactly the same but each have different dosage instructions, so you have to know your child's correct dosage based on their weight. Great piece of knowledge to know when you have an infant with a fever but they are out of infant Tylenol at the store! But there is also the advice to give kids Benedryl for sleep...which is very bad advice.
Bad Parents Can Give Bad Advice...
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But one day I heard a piece of advice that was just....It was clearly a bad idea. No matter how you try to sell it.
And there were many who gave me bad advice. But It was ok, we can't expect the best advice from everyone because no-one is perfect. Plus, everyone had their own ways of raising their kids.
And Yet...This advice is trending.
Yes, TRENDING! It's all about positive parenting today and while I'm not against Positive parenting. When I started to hear the advice to NOT punish my children. I knew right then and there. BAD IDEA!
There is a way to use Positive Parenting and continue to discipline your children so anyone reading this, it's still a good parenting technique but every part of it wont work for all parents and their kids.
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People are Far to Unique for a One Size Fits all Method of Parenting
I don't plan on ever hurting my children but I do plan on making sure they learn the consequences of their actions. Which is why we have a timeout chair. But I take the time to talk to my kids when they go into that chair about what they did wrong. And I remind them how much I love them when it's all over but that we needed to talk about their behavior. I even went over this with my children's pediatrician with open ears to hear her own thoughts of how best to help my kids learn. Overall, it was agreed, kids need discipline. The right kind and per their age, but some sort of punishment to actually understand their actions are not ok.
There is definitely Positive Parenting in my day to day to some degree but My kids get Punished. And as they get older...Timeout may turn into losing privileges and maybe more. Not sure yet...and I don't have to have all the answers right here, right now. None of us parents do.
My kids are still very young and I have time to figure it out.
But, I don't have to take this time to decide if my kids will continue down the path of love and respect along with the kinds of punishments that work best for them. It’s a no-brainer, except that today, if anyone sees you discipline your kids, may just want to tell you all about how you shouldn't do it.
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I cringe to know what these kids are going to be like as they grow up if we continue to use the fear of mental health as a reason not to discipline our kids. We can absolutely value, love and help our kids learn to navigate their emotions while also disciplining them.
It's a delicate balance, that many of us will fail and then get right over and over again.
Why? Because how many adults do you know have it all together? Even the children of child psychologists have issues. Think about that for a moment....
Kids in the same household may even need to be disciplined differently because of how different their personalities are. So how can we take this one size fit all method, with all kids and blanket statement that all parents need to use this or they are abusing their kids?
Loving your kids is making sure they grow up to be productive members of society with the knowledge that they are loved and the confidence to know they are capable. Punishment shows them the boundaries and helps them learn what is acceptable.
Talking to them helps them navigate those emotions, along with being the best example you can be. But above all else...
You know what our kids will remember the most? Love.
so that alone, is enough! If I see a parent clearly loves their child and isn't abusive. Personally I'm not going to worry in the slightest how they choose to discipline their kids, because a parent who loves their kid is always going to do the best they can for that child which is more then enough.
What is the worst Parenting Advice you have ever Received?
