Are you in a Toxic Relationship?
We have been living through a bad time in the world and have been stuck with each other for much longer than anyone could have imagined. Maybe if it was back in the middle ages….nope even then. This is a life that Most people aren’t equipped to handle for too long. I’ve read a few studies here and there about why we are getting depressed in times like this. But I feel as though just watching the news too often could easily achieve that right now. And mental health along with being around your significant other is an easy way to understand why divorce rates have been said to have increased unofficially by about 34%. I say unofficially because people have started proceedings but not all of the 34 percent are officially divorced yet. (The value comes from divorce applications)
So why did they decide to leave? Well as I mentioned you had to deal with some real life with someone and really got to know who they were. For better or for WORSE right?
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What is considered worse or toxic?
Let’s look into the signs of a Toxic Relationship. Per Healthline's Article of a similar name (find it... here)
Lack of Support- When you are together, it doesn’t matter what each other needs support in, you should be supporting your partner. Ok it matters that it’s not illegal or abusive….or dangerous.
Toxic Communication- Communication actually has a right way and a wrong way. If you find that arguments are common and abusive(calling each other names, bringing up the past, etc.). These are things to work on or to notice.
Jealousy- It’s normal to feel jealousy. We all do, but that’s an occasional thing and normally you feel it or they do but are ultimately happy for you and your success. If this is not what you normally have happen and it’s an argument because they can’t feel happy for you or you can’t feel happy for them. That’s an issue to work on and again notice.
Controlling Behaviors- There is really never a good reason to control someone. If someone is questioning where you are, what your doing, who you are texting or why you aren’t texting fast enough. These are controlling behaviors ( and there are many more so keep an eye our) that are not healthy at all.
Resentment- The silent and slow killer of a relationship. You can’t hold on to grudges or it will eat away the happiness and closeness you have with your partner.
Dishonesty- Do I really have to explain why lying is a big sign of a toxic relationship? It’s just not a good idea to do ever in any relationship.
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Patterns of Disrespect- Not a common one to think of because life happens and it can be easy to excuse away the little things but! This one is actually a BIG red flag. When someone is always late, often forgets events ( like your anniversary) and they just have an overall lack of respect for you…and your wants and needs….that’s not good.
Negative Financial Behaviors-( for marriages)Financial conversations are we think not them or you only thing. It’s that simple. If someone doesn’t want to be involved, that’s understandable but even in those cases, discussions should still be had. Because communication is needed for, WE not just YOUR money or THEIR money. So next time you want to upgrade the TV, talk about it. (non Marriages) Financial conversations are still necessary and should just be more about noticing how someone is with their money. If they aren’t good about it, it can cause issues down the line.
Constant Stress- We can all get on each other’s nerves but if this is an all the time situation, it’s clear you two aren’t in the best place.
Ignoring your Needs- You are important and so is your significant other. There is nothing else to understand about that so if that’s the case, your needs should be met by each other.
Lost Relationships- Are you no longer talking to your friends or is your family avoiding you? Maybe you have those friends and family around, but your relationships are just strained because of all of the conflict or potential conflict. That tells you a great deal about the person next to you if they are the cause of that. AND if they add to this by being quite the handful in your free time, I suggest noticing this and consulting some additional help for your relationship. Or just walk away if you feel that it’s best.
Walking on Eggshells- To avoid problems and arguments you just avoid anything that would cause an argument…does this sound like you? Definitely not good, and should not happen in a healthy relationship.
