The Disappearing Village: Why Parents Are Feeling Alone and Overwhelmed
It’s time to dive deep into a topic that's been weighing on my heart. Do you know how we often talk about the village that once helped raise a child? Well, it seems like that village has been slowly disappearing, leaving us parents feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed.
Let's start with our schools. They should be our allies, right? A place where our kids learn and grow, and where we, as parents, should feel supported. But sometimes, it feels like they're forgetting about us. Take Lowery Elementary School in Houston, Texas, for example. They've decided not to allow siblings to attend end-of-year graduations or as they call it “parties to celebrate kids going into middle school”. It's like they're saying, 'Sorry, you're on your own, and we told you the rules so it’s your problem, even if the rules hurt the families of the children that attend the school.' This decision, while it may seem small, is a clear example of how schools are failing to support parents, we aren’t all in perfect circumstances that allow for help and convenience at any moment. We need our schools to stand with us, not against us. We need them to understand that we're a team, working together for the benefit of the children. Adding rules to separate families, even if given years in advance, are disrespectful to the very families that help make up what a school becomes. A bad rule is just that….a bad rule. This rule that has been allowed to exist and thrive is due to the issue at hand. The Village turning its back on families and the values of what it is to be a family.
Image Credit: @benjaminmanley
Then there are the people we meet every day. The ones who give us that judgmental look when our kids throw a tantrum in the grocery store. Instead of offering a helping hand or a sympathetic smile, they make us feel like we're doing something wrong. But here's the thing: we're all doing the best we can. And a little empathy goes a long way. It's time for society to stop judging and start understanding. We're all navigating this journey of parenthood, and it's not always easy. A little kindness can make a world of difference.
Kindness that doesn’t even seem to come from other parents! We should be each other's biggest cheerleaders, but sometimes it feels like we're competing against each other. Who has the best-dressed kid, who makes the healthiest lunches, who has the most Pinterest-worthy birthday parties? But motherhood isn't a competition. It's a journey that we're all navigating together. A journey that is going to look very different in each household because of the additional circumstances each family brings to the table. It’s clear that we should be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down. Let's create a community where we celebrate each other's successes, share our struggles, and offer support when it's needed. Because that's what the village mentality is all about.
Our governments also have a role to play in the village disintegration. We need policies that support us, like affordable childcare, flexible work arrangements, and comprehensive healthcare. We need to feel like our voices are being heard and that our needs are being considered. Because when we thrive, our kids thrive. It's time for us to stand up and advocate for change. Let's make our voices heard and fight for a society that values and supports parents. What we have today tells us we are alone and questions why we even had children to begin with.
We need to challenge the norms that place unrealistic expectations on us. We need to create a culture of understanding and compassion. And we need to bring back the village mindset, where everyone chips in to help raise the next generation. This means creating spaces where parents can connect, share their experiences, and offer support to each other. It means building a community that values and respects all families, regardless of their shape or size.
Moms and dads out there, remember this: You're doing an amazing job. And you're not alone. We're all in this together, navigating the ups and downs of parenthood.
But it’s time we started supporting each other and saying NO to the rules and scolding the rest of society. They may not support us but if we stand together, our village of love and perseverance will remain intact! Maybe the rest of society will come around at some point.
