Is the "Soft Life" Overrated? A Working Mom's Unfiltered Take
Let me paint you a picture of my "soft life" attempt this morning: I'm typing this while my 4-year-old daughter is using my leg as a jungle gym, there's a half-eaten toast on my keyboard, and I just got a teams notification about a project deadline that makes my stomach drop. Oh, and my 6-year-old left his 100th day of school item at home, which I discovered after my husband left to drop him off at school. So much for living stress-free, right?
The "soft life" trend flooding our social media feeds looks dreamy – all those serene morning routines, perfectly scheduled days, and peaceful self-care moments. You know the ones I'm talking about: the influencers who somehow manage to do their skincare routine, meditation, journaling, and workout all before 7 AM, looking impossibly fresh in their matching loungewear sets.
But let's get real: when you're juggling a 9-5 project management role, a side hustle, and two energetic kids, that aesthetic feels about as achievable as my daughter's dream of having a pet unicorn. My morning reality? It's more like a three-ring circus where I'm simultaneously the ringmaster, clown, and lion tamer.
A Day in the Life: The Anti-Soft Life Chronicles…
6:00 AM: Alarm goes off. Hit snooze because I was up three times last night – once for my daughter who was once again scared but really just wants to sleep in my bed," once for water, and once because my brain decided 3 AM was the perfect time to worry about next week's report.
6:15 AM: Actually get up, trying not to wake my husband who had a late night catching up on his own project deliverables.
6:20 AM: Attempt to sneak in a quick shower. My daughter's sixth sense kicks in, and suddenly I have company asking me existential questions about why fish don't have legs.
6:45 AM: Start breakfast while simultaneously checking emails on my phone and reminding my son that yes, he needs to wear socks to school, and no, superhero costumes aren't appropriate for kindergarten.
7:15 AM: The morning rush begins in earnest. My daughter has decided today is the day she'll only wear purple (we own nothing purple), while my son can't find his favorite pencil that "HAS to be in my backpack or I'll DIE, Mom!"
7:35 AM: My husband has left to Drop-off our son at kindergarten, where I realize my son forgot his 100th day item. And based on the teachers last screaming email to us parents about participation I’ll be dropping it off during my lunch break. It’s due next week, but I don’t want to be part of the problem! Is it too early to have a second cup of coffee?
7:50 AM: My husband has returned and headed straight to his office to start work, while our daughter just has to show him her new dance move before he gets started and she has decided she does not like her breakfast that she ate half of and now wants something else. But then also realizes she is no longer hungry.
8:00 AM: Fire up the laptop, and join my first meeting of the day while simultaneously setting up my daughters art station. Pray she stays entertained for at least 30 minutes of my meeting.
Between coordinating with my husband (fellow project manager, bless him) about who's handling school pickup when meetings run late, and trying to squeeze in calls while my daughter is running around wanting me to join in her play time, my life is more "controlled chaos" than "soft living." The reality of being a working mom in 2025 is that we're expected to excel in multiple roles simultaneously:
Professional Life:
Image Credit: Created by Midjourney AI
Managing complex projects with tight deadlines
Leading team meetings while praying your kid doesn't burst in
Maintaining professional composure when your brain is fried from lack of sleep
Building your career while fighting the guilt of not being "present enough"
Mom Life:
Creating educational opportunities for your kids
Managing their emotional development
Keeping track of school events, doctor appointments, and playdates
Being present and engaged despite work stress
Personal Life (what's that?):
Attempting to maintain friendships through sporadic text messages ( I fail )
Trying to remember the last time you had a date night
Wondering if self-care can consist of hiding in the pantry eating chocolate
And let's talk about the side hustle – because apparently working full-time and raising kids isn't enough of a challenge. Mine happens during the magical hours between 8 PM and midnight, when I should probably be sleeping but instead am trying to build something for myself and family. The "soft life" influencers never seem to mention how they manage to build their empires while ensuring their kids are thriving and their primary career isn't suffering.
The truth? Some days, success looks like remembering to switch the laundry before it gets mildewy, or managing to eat something other than my kids' leftover chicken nuggets for lunch. My version of "soft life" is stealing 10 minutes to drink my coffee while it's still hot – and even that's a rare win.
Here's what I've learned: we need to redefine what "soft life" means for working moms. It's not about eliminating stress (let's be honest, that's impossible when your kindergartener decides to become a bathroom comedian five minutes before the bus arrives). Instead, it's about finding small pockets of peace in the chaos.
My Modified "Soft Life" Approach:
Embracing Imperfection
Accepting that some days, frozen pizza is gourmet
Learning to leave non-urgent emails for tomorrow
Being okay with a messy house if it means more family time
Finding Joy in Chaos
Having impromptu dance parties during conference call breaks
Turning mundane tasks into games with the kids
Celebrating small wins, like everyone wearing matching socks
Strategic Self-Care
Using lunch breaks for power naps instead of extra work
Actually using PTO for self-care, not catch-up days
Setting boundaries with work (even when it feels impossible)
Redefining Success
Measuring productivity in human moments, not just tasks completed
Valuing mental health over perfect execution
Accepting that some balls will drop, and that's okay
Maybe our version of the soft life doesn't look Instagram-worthy. Maybe it's less about aesthetic morning routines and more about finding moments of joy between the chaos:
That quiet cup of coffee while watching your kids play
A quick meditation session during your commute
A family cuddle session that makes you late but fills your soul
Those precious five minutes of alone time in the car before heading inside
The unfiltered truth? The trendy version of "soft life" isn't realistic for most working moms. But creating our own messy, imperfect version of it? That's something worth striving for. It's about finding balance in the imbalance and peace in the chaos.
As I write this, my daughter has moved from using my leg as a jungle gym to turning our living room into an "art gallery" (Lord help our walls), and I just got another Slack notification that I'm choosing to ignore for the moment. My son will need help with homework later, there's a presentation to finish for tomorrow, and somewhere in there, I need to figure out dinner.
But you know what? Maybe that's okay. Maybe our version of the soft life isn't about eliminating stress but about choosing which stress is worth our energy. Maybe it's about finding those small moments of peace and stretching them as far as they'll go.
To all the working moms out there, trying to balance it all while maintaining some semblance of sanity: you're not alone. We might not be living the perfectly curated soft life we see on social media, but we're living something real, something meaningful, and something uniquely ours.
Now, if you'll excuse me, my daughter just announced she's redecorated the living room with markers, and I have a meeting in five minutes. Just another day in my perfectly imperfect "soft-ish" life.
