Done Apologizing: Women's Rights in an Era of Rollbacks

I used to start every email with "I'm sorry to bother you..." I'd apologize for speaking up in meetings, for asking questions, for taking up space. Sound familiar? For many women, apologizing has become as automatic as breathing. But here's the thing – we're done saying sorry for existing.

This isn't just about breaking the habit of unnecessary apologies. It's about recognizing that at a time when women's rights are facing unprecedented challenges, our voices matter more than ever.

Last month, I was in a meeting presenting data involving what I work on daily. I had exceeded every target, brought in new processes and procedures, and saved the company money. Yet I heard myself saying, "I'm sorry if this is too detailed, but..." A male colleague later presented similar results without a single apology. That was my wake-up call.

Image Credit: Image Created by Midjourney AI

Across the country, we're witnessing a systematic dismantling of protections and opportunities that women have fought decades to secure. The elimination of DEI initiatives in workplaces isn't just about corporate policy – it's about pushing women, especially women of color, back to the margins. When companies abandon these programs, they're essentially saying, "Your perspective isn't valuable here."

And lets be clear. A merit system will never work when racism, sexism and classist behavior still exist in large quantities. People with the mindset of feeling better then because of ignorant thoughts and feelings are heavily impowered right now, making any merit based on a regime we haven’t seen so blatantly since World War 2.

Then there's the ongoing assault on reproductive rights. State by state, legislation is being passed that strips women of their bodily autonomy. We're watching as decisions about our own bodies are being placed in the hands of politicians rather than remaining where they belong – with us and our healthcare providers. And women are dying already from these decisions. Decisions from men who have no idea what a tampon is.

The psychological impact of this erosion of rights cannot be understated – it sends a clear message about who society thinks should have control over women's lives.

The irony doesn't escape me. We’re supposedly more "progressive" than ever, we're fighting battles our mothers and grandmothers thought they'd already won. But here's where the apologies end.

We're not sorry for:

• Demanding equal pay for equal work

• Taking up space in male-dominated fields

• Speaking up about harassment and discrimination

• Making choices about our own bodies

• Prioritizing our careers alongside or instead of family life

• Calling out systemic inequities

• Being angry about the rollback of our rights

• Setting boundaries and saying "no"

• Having ambition and showing it

• Being emotional or being "too much"

This isn't about being confrontational – it's about being confident. It's about recognizing that our perspectives, experiences, and rights are not optional add-ons to society but fundamental parts of it.

The workplace is where many of us feel this most acutely. With the dismantling of DEI programs, women are losing crucial allies and support systems. These aren't just "nice to have" initiatives – they're essential tools for creating equitable workplaces. Their elimination signals a disturbing regression in corporate America's commitment to equality.

Remember the woman who pioneered the sexual harassment policies at your company? The one who fought for maternity leave? The one who first wore pants to the office? They didn't apologize. They knew their worth, and they fought for what was right. We stand on their shoulders, and we owe it to the next generation to stand just as tall.

To the women reading this: When was the last time you apologized for something that wasn't your fault? When did you last downplay your achievements or minimize your concerns to make others comfortable? What would it feel like to stop? Start noticing these moments. They're everywhere once you begin looking.

I recently started keeping a "Sorry Journal" – writing down every time I apologized unnecessarily. The results were staggering. In one week, I apologized 47 times for things that required no apology. For taking the last coffee pod. For asking a clarifying question. For being passionate about a project. For needing a deadline extension due to a family emergency.

To everyone else: We're not asking for special treatment. We're demanding equal treatment, and we won't apologize for it. We're asking for allies who understand that when women's rights are diminished, everyone loses. When workplaces become less diverse, innovation suffers. When women's healthcare is restricted, families suffer. When women's voices are silenced, society suffers.

Image Credit: Image Created by Midjourney AI

The path forward isn't about being sorry – it's about being strong. It's about supporting each other as we face these challenges. It's about recognizing that when women's rights are under attack, the response isn't to speak softer but to stand firmer.

And let's talk about what that looks like in practice. It means:

• Correcting pay disparities in your workplace if you're in a position to do so

• Speaking up when you witness harassment or discrimination

• Supporting women-owned businesses

• Voting for candidates who support women's rights

• Mentoring younger women and teaching them to value themselves

• Creating networks of support in your professional and personal life

• Challenging systems that perpetuate inequality

So here's my challenge to you: Go one day without apologizing for things that don't require an apology. Notice how it feels. Notice the discomfort. Then do it again the next day. And the next.

Document your journey. Share it with others. Create spaces where other women can share their experiences too. Because there's power in numbers, and there's power in knowing you're not alone in this struggle.

Because in a world that seems increasingly intent on silencing women's voices, the most powerful thing we can do is refuse to be silent. Refuse to be sorry. Refuse to back down. Each time we stand firm, we make it easier for another woman to do the same.

We're done apologizing for taking up space in a world that was meant to be ours too. We're done minimizing ourselves to make others comfortable. We're done watching our rights disappear without fighting back.

And no, I'm not sorry for saying so.

P.S. If you're thinking this post is too long, too passionate, or too angry – guess what? I'm not sorry for that either. 😉